Forgive, but Set Limits & Expectations

This is a follow-up to yesterday's story about a wayward nineteen year old. He is sorry because he got caught stealing thousands of dollars of jewelry and pawning it.

Aren't we all. 

But, after counseling with other professionals, the consensus opinion was to set limits which we had already done for the bad behavior.

The key decision!  My wife and I decided not to prosecute. Instead we made him face his horrible actions with the written evidence in front of the police chief. He allowed this audience, and told my grandson so, because the next time he sees his name come across his desk, the meeting will be in the interrogation room, and off to prison or jail for a one year minimum.

For a street savvy kid like he is, it didn't seem to impact him sufficiently. We have had a face-to-face meeting with him, laid down the new rules, taken his house key away from him and forbidden him to be in the house unless one of us is there with him. He can come in, eat, take a shower, but the office, and the rest of the house is off limits, until we decide to change the rule. Until he is gainfully employed, and has earned his keep with some employer, we will remain ever vigilant as long as he is on our premises. Otherwise, it is hit the street, you are now on your own. Blood relative, or not!

Time will tell! We all know that the leopard doesn't change his spots; they just grow in size!

Handling a Lie & a Theft in Your Home

If you are an employer, it seems the treatment of these two offenses can be found in the company policy manual, but parents and grandparents, on the other-hand, have a different role in these matters. I think the care-taker grandparent in this case, has an even different  role than the parent.

Yesterday was not a good day! We were confronted with the theft of $1,800 of my wife's jewelery which is hidden in a special drawer in a hunt stand. The theft could only be carried out by one person, our grandson, and when confronted he immediately admitted to the theft and the pawning of the items in the local pawn shop. It seems he went to the pawn shop on three separate occasions, and the pawn shop owner paid him: $60, $60, and $70 out of his pocket for the $1,800 dollars worth of jewelery. 

My wife just came back from the pawn shop and discovered that he had been there in January and pawned several other pieces of jewelery, plus something for a friend he runs around with. More lies, and now this seems to be much more serious than we thought.

I am sure many have faced this type of issue, but since we live in a small town, we are faced with not wanting to make these incidents public knowledge. 

Before today, we forgave another costly incident in September 2010, and now this mindless theft for no real purpose, leaves us in a real dilemma. It is going to be very hard for me to trust him again, and I am sure that my wife, who is usually more compassionate that I, will have the same issues to deal with in her mind. There don't seem to be any easy answers to this situation as I type these words.

The real issue is when and if  you should prosecute your relatives for grand-theft, or do you give them another chance?